The Original List

This is the list that started it all....BEHOLD!

The List:

1a. Chen Yang Li in Bow...The best Chinese food you can get IMO. It costs a pretty penny though. Also, they have sushi. Good sushi. It's so rare that a chinese place can also have incredible sushi. Major props CYL, you rule.

1b. Man Yee in Concord...The best cheap Chinese food you can get IMO. I think the people who work there hate me though. Why? I am paying your salary. I am not joking either. I must have payed for at least a dozen woks by now.

2. Applebee's in every corner of the earth...Chris's favorite, and I don't blame him. The first time I ever went there, this hot valley girl asked me if I want some "Onion Tears." Turns out she said "Onion Peels." My mistake. I am sure Onion Tears would be really good too though.

3. In-N-Out Burger out west....I have never gone with the group, but I have...and its legit. The only qualm I have with In-N-Out is the length of their drive-thru lines. It's like waiting for the Rock N Roller Coaster at Disney World. But like the Rock N' Roller, it is totally worth it.

4. Ruby Tuesday everywhere....I really do like grease. The mini-burgers they have are incredible, especially when you get them with onion straws and french fries. Jeff calls this place Ruby Assholes. Jeff is weird.

5a. Red Apple in Concord...Cheap Chinese buffet. Def. legit. I am such a fat ass. The sushi is suprisingly decent, too. Just try and avoid the room with the stairs leading up to it, unless you like slipping on spilled duck sauce and shattering your ulna.

5b. Peking Buffet in Hooksett....Can be a crapshoot with how good the food is, but Bouch and I love it. Also, since it is in Hooksett, there is a very good chance that someone will walk in who will instantly raise your self-esteem an infinite amount of points. A wife-beater AND plaid jeans? Thank you ma'am for your obscene display, I will definitely feel better about the twelve egg rolls I'm about to eat.

6. The Red Arrow Diner in Manchester, NH....Best. Diner. Evar. Also, you see drunk people there all the time. Good times...good times....

7. The Tilton Diner in Tilton, NH....A very good diner. If you need to know anything about me, know this. I. Love. Diners. Always have nice people and food that doesn't scare you when you read the description. Also, they call their shakes "malts." I feel like the Fonz eating there...AYYYYY!

8. IHOP all over the place....For three straight birthdays, I would wake up my family at the crack-ass of dawn and drive down to Portsmouth, which is about an hour from my house, to go to IHOP. For a person who loves sleeping in as much as me, I would wake up at four AM until the end of time if it guaranteed me some IHOP at least once a week. If you haven't been, get the Breakfast Sampler when you do. All the breakfast food in the world on one plate. Heaven. Pure heaven. Oh yeah...and they have like 76 different kinds of syrup. Try the Boysenberry.

9. Bickfords all over New England (I think)...Can't go wrong either. They have these giant Apple pancakes that make me drool just thinking about it. Ew, my
keyboard is all slimy.

10. Capitol Grille in Concord, NH....Best breakfast in Concord. Really amazing prices and cool people. Reminds you of your Grandpa...unless you hate your Grandpa. Get the Farmer's Breakfast. TRUST ME!

11. In-A-Pinch in Concord, NH...Chris, I can't put this in the Hall-of-Fame since I.A.P is still alive and kicking. However, I am very glad that it is. If you enjoy a good sandwhich, stop by. Also, as a note, if the restaurant can have hyphens involved in it somehow, it is probably a safe bet (See In-N-Out).

12. Red Blazer in Concord, NH...If you want to eat at Applebees without selling out to THE MAN, then go here. The food is also fresher here too. Also, it is important to note that I have never had an ugly waitress here. It's like Hooters, except no one looks at you like a creep when you eat here. Win-freaking-win.

13. Hooters in various areas where hot women tend to flock....Okay, I'm a creep, I guess.

14. Panera Bread all over the east coast...I used to complain that the east coast had a lack of exclusive restuarants. The west coast has In-N-Out, the South has Sonic Drive-In, and the Mid-West has White Castle. However, I am willing to deal with not having those places as long as I can keep Panera. Amazing bread and even better soup. If you put the soup in a bread bowl you might as well leave after your done and walk into incoming traffic because life doesn't get better than that. Also, try the Honey Dijon pinini. It is epic. So is the word pinini. Pee-knee-knee....

15. Sal's Pizza all over New England...Home of the 19" inch, three pound pizza...A.K.A snacktime. This pizza is fucking huge and delicious. However, the cupcakes here may have the pizza beat. I once heard a rumor that the tarp at Fenway Park is just the cellophane from one of their cupcakes. It's prolly not true, because the tarp has Red Sox logos all over it and the cupcake doesn't. It's a shame really. I'd go more often if I could have a Red Sox cupcake.

16. Page's Corner in Dunbarton, NH...It's a convience store, but since there are no gas pumps outside, it is legit. Also, there's a MILF who makes the Pizza and stuff. Wow, this list is slowly becoming a really creepy confession. The chicken finger meal is huge and cheap. Can't go wrong.


17. Wendy's in all over the place...There is something about Wendy's that makes it sooooooo goood. I think it is because every single Wendy's in exsistance makes it impossible to find the entrance to the damn drive-thru. Dave Thomas was apparently a big fan of scavenger hunts. The 99 cent menu own all over value menus all because of two items. The chicken nuggets and the small frosty. The chicken nuggets at Wendy's are by far the best. McDonald's nuggets are fine I suppose, but I feel like I am eating a batter dipped pencil eraser with that Ramen noodle chicken flavoring all over it. Burger King had those chicken tenders for a while, but no one ate them because the vast majority of our population isn't suicidal. Wendy's nuggets are incredible. The frosty is also incredible mainly due to the fact they are impossible to duplicate. You know the line in Mr. Deeds where that awesome, old, black guy said he tried making a Frosty, but it just wasn't the same. He speaks the truth. I have wasted many a night trying to create a frosty duplicate, but it is pointless. Just pony up the dollar and get one from the drive-thru. It's easier that way.

18. Wings You Way in Durham, NH...I swear, WYW was placed on Earth by God himself. Cute college girls work there, the best testing wraps in all of the universe and they name their items after celebrities. There is a 50-Piece wing platter called the Anna Nicole Smith. I ordered it thinking the wings were laid upon a bed of old Playboy centerfold pictures and laced with trim-spa. Unfortunatley, the guy who delivered the food looked a lot like Howard K. Stern. I know that fucker killed her.

19. Pizza Man in Hooksett...The pizza is decent. Nothing great. However, if you order a BBQ Chicken sub, you may collapse into a flavor coma. This sub is incredible. The only problem I have with this place is this person who I used to work with at Dunkin Donuts is there now and she was a weird girl. Check for spit before digging in.

20. Moritomo's in Concord...Half hibachi grill, half sushi bar...all amazing. A little pricey for some, but the hibachi show is fantastic. The chef will make a volcano out of onions. I bet he gets laid constantly. Especially after a girl downs a few scorpion bowls.

21. T.G.I Fridays which are sprinkled like confectioners sugar all over the map...I do enjoy most theme restaurants. They have lots of good food and you know what you are getting. T.G.I.F does it a bit differently. They have interesting menu items like the Jack Daniels sesame chicken and the Red Bull slushies. For some reason, the Dr.Pepper's are always great here. I do have one issues with Friday's though. They got rid of the coconut chicken fingers. Bad move guys. Those things were the balls.

Unfortunately, we run into bad restaurants sometimes...avoid these places like the plague.

1. Smokey Bones located everywhere (and I don't know why)....Easily the worst chain I have ever been to. You may like it if you like flame-broiled hockey pucks with old lettuce on them. If you do like that, I hate you. Chris, Jeff and I had quite the adventure there. Is it any wonder why they just closed 50 places on the East Coast?

2. Anything at Canobie Lake Park in Salem, NH....It's expensive and everything tastes like cardboard...everything. They somehow fuck up fried dough. I don't how you can do that, but they do. Canobie Lake sucks really...but it's New Hampshire...what else is there to do?

3. Denny's located everywhere....Fuck Denny's. Denny sucks. I hope he is dead.

4. The Mystery Playhouse in Williamsburg, Va.... Basically, this shit hole is a giant dining room with terrible actors in terrible plays about things like "Who farted?". I think everyone who has ever eaten there had farted for a good long time after going there. Not satisfying farts, either. Like, those ones that burn coming out. Not good times. I ordered chicken tenders there and I think they actually gave me fingers. Not many of them either. Like...two. I wanted to throw them at one of the actors. Thank God Bouch convinced me not to. Then he threw his food at one of the actors. Bastard took my spotlight.

5. The Common Man all over New England...This chain is spreading like wildfire. I use the comparison to wildfire because The Common Man kills innocent people and is hot as shit. If you ever go in there, make sure you are naked, because it is sweltering. I have gone here twice in my life, and I will never go back. There wasn't a single thing on the menu that looked remotely appeitizing. I also once went for a breakfast thing. If you leave any sit-down restuarant craving a McGriddle from McDonalds, there is a serious problem. Chris also made the point that The Common Man got rid of the Concord Diner. Diners rule. End of discussion. Fuck The Common Man. I hope you collapse you boil on the face of the earth.

6. Gas Stations....Why eat at any of these places? Isn't there a Wendy's not too far away?

7. Any food place that is supplied by Sodexo or Aramark... I am a die hard Red Sox fan. I love going to Fenway Park. Unfortunately, Fenway Park is supplied by Aramark. If you have never heard of Aramark, let me come up with an incredibly witty analogy about how much they suck. Aramark is to food distribution as poodles are to dogs. Fuck poodles. Anyway, Aramark is NOT responsible for the Fenway Franks or that awesome stuff, but they are responsible for those abysmal nachos and soggy ass french fries. Sodexo is in the same realm. If your food is being supplied by these companies, you are being lied to. This shit isn't food. This shit is poison.

8. Blimpie's which is scattered like trash around this country...Once when I was eight years old, I saw a commerical for this sub shop called Blimpie's. It was pretty funny, but the thing I remember most was this giant sub with this braided bread. It looked so tasty. Unfortunately, there was no Blimpie's anywhere near me where I lived. Then, I moved to Bow and heard about one in Concord...in the Wal-Mart. I should've know what torture was about to take place. I looked around for this braided bread and it was nowhere. I ended up ordering this chicken sub. An old standard, I thought. Blimpie's managed to fuck this up. The sandwhich was not enjoyable in the slightest. However, my hatred for Blimpie's runs deeper than them shattering my sandwhicy dreams. Recently, they closed the Blimpie's in the Wal-Mart where Bouch worked. Bouch was laid off with no warning and is currently unemployed. Someone hire Bouch. I am tired of him sleeping on my couch.

I do have one hall of fame entry to submit as well. I once got a tragic IM from Bouch concerning our favorite Chinese restaurant. It was called Tsingtao House. Biggest portions and the best quality. It was town down for a fucking CVS and a fucking Cinemagic. Fuck CVS. CVS wishes that it can be as good as Wallgreen's. It never will be. Ever. CVS should slit it's wrists. Tsingtao House will forever live in our hearts, literally and figuratively.

If you have any to add, and if I agree with them, I will add them to any of the above categories.

Legit- Must be a good restaurant.

Not legit- Must suck.

Hall of fame- Good restaurant that was torn down for inexplicable reasons.